She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
