If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
