New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
