Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
