just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
