So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
