and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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