insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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