My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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