Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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