Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
