I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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