i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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