Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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