I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
