SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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