i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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