Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
