Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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