Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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