ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and she was petting her beer can
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
