oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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