Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
