do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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