oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
