He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
