Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
