That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
