Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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