that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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