haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
