its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
one might say we're banned from that church
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
