sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
