im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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