You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
