I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
