So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
