She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
