you guys were way drunker than both of me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
