I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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