Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
