ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
