Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
