I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
