I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
