he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
