You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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