RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
