My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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