just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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